Friday, July 20, 2012




So I look at my life right now and think back to where I thought I would be at 27. I knew at a very young age that it was my calling to be a wife and to be a mother. Little did I know how much I REALLY would love it. 
Six years ago I had my first child and was married to his father. I thought because I had the two things I have always wanted most... I was finally going to feel complete, or accomplished... HAPPY! I could not understand why my marriage was just falling apart even at every attempt to salvage it. I did not see why it was all happening. God sure knew though! 
My husband was never home and I was forced to raise my newborn as a new mom, by myself quite a lot. I had these neighbors, a couple... they had 2 little girls. I never spoke much to either, just every once in a while. I hardly ever saw them really. I just new the man seemed to always be home with his daughters and my husband was pretty familiar with the woman and they seemed to hang out from time to time, even though it was of course denied.
Anyway, my marriage ended up falling apart in January of 2008 and my divorce was final that August. Even though I was the one who left my husband, I mourned our marriage, and flat out refused to date until I was no longer his wife legally.
After that I dated a few guys who of course tore my heart to pieces. Mostly because I was so desperate to be loved, I didn't pay attention to the warning signs, that they were DEFINITELY not in it for the long run. 
There was a man who during this time, was trying to pursue me, but I was "so done" with dating. 
Finally I folded after about a year or so, and went on a date with him. 
We have been inseparable ever since! 
Now get this... not only is this man now my husband and the most wonderful man I have ever met... he was the man that used to be my neighbor... the 2 little girls... those are my beautiful step daughters.
While I was in a relationship falling apart and not understanding why and feeling like a single parent even though I was married... He was right upstairs from me feeling the same way... we NEVER knew till all these years later! 
So like I said, I had no idea what God was doing, but He did! He had a plan for me and my son, and for my now, husband and step daughters. It is so cool to me how life comes around.
Now we rent out a little 3 bedroom brick house, nothing fancy and not a lot of fancy things. But our house is full of love. 
Now we get to experience being parents together rather than what we were so use to being... alone. And we get to experience how great it can be to have a baby with someone who actually cares.  It is the coolest thing. 
I have been through a lot of heartache in my life. But I would not change any of it, or I may not have what I have now! I may always be tired and no matter how much I clean my house is always a mess... but I have a wonderful family that I wouldn't trade for the world <3

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